Fall

I admire anyone who works from home.  I find it incredibly difficult to focus on getting work done.  Just today I'm procrastinating on writing a letter that should be very easy to write.  I have a routine, for the most part, so that's not the problem.  I have a dedicated workspace, so that's not the problem (though I do get distracted by the internet).  I just have no gumption.  None.  It's not just the work, either.  I've been trying to go for a walk every day while it's nice here (70s and quite sunny), but that takes a lot of effort, too.  I'm also supposed to be job hunting, but I've got about a dozen tabs open with jobs that I would like but can't seem to apply for. 

I think it's because I feel like everything is on hold.  Of course, getting these things done, even walking, will help things to move forward.  This is a typical state for me, and also for my siblings.  We learned it from our mom.  Too bad we didn't learn to keep busy from our dad, who had hobbies and would work in the yard or on the car quite often.  On my good days I'm like that.  Most of the time, however, I fall into the "I should" mode, which means that nothing gets done.  My mom didn't work a regular job until my youngest brother was in school.  Before and during that time, she would talk about going back to college.  I think she would have loved to be in school.  She was a voracious reader and learned so much that way.  She also talked about becoming a party planner, which would have also been a great pursuit.  There were so many things that she wanted to do but could never muster the energy to put into action.  I can be the same way, and I know my sister and brothers do the same thing.  How do we snap out of it?

One thing that doesn't suffer is knitting.  Since much of my "I should" time is spent doing nothing, I end up spending that time knitting.  Too bad I'm not interested in designing.  Are there any jobs for people to just knit?  I could do that (though I think the competition would be stiff).

Since the last post, I mailed off a few things to my sister, who just moved to Denver.  Don't mind the pictures.  I should set up a light box, but, you know.

Bunny Nuggets

Wristers from leftover yarn.

Snake Skin Cowl from shiny Sublime Yarns Lustrous

Song of the Sea

Lovisa Armwarmers that I forgot to put the buttons on.

I'm working on an Essential Cardigan now for April.  April and her husband Jason, both friends from Elko, were nice enough to open their home to us.  We've been here four months, so I thought it was time to thank her.  Since I do nothing but knit, it's moving along quickly.

I have also finished a Shawl Collar Cowl and the Orbitus Hat.  Both of those and the Bunny Nuggets, wristers, and Lovisa Armwarmers were made  to use up stash. The Shawl Collar also used some extremely gorgeous Classic Elite Yarns MountainTop Chalet.  It is so soft and fluffy.  The cowl is quite bulky in the front, though, with all that overlapping fabric.  I think it needs to go to someone who lives in the arctic.

Hidden Treasures

A couple months ago I moved into an apartment. A lot of my things had been in storage for more than a year, and I'm still discovering treasures collected over many moves. I have packed and unpacked 18 times in my life.

Whenever anyone visited my grandmother, Babci, we were sure to leave with an armful of clothes, at least, or bags full of things we just couldn't refuse, try as we might. It was hard to say no to Babci, who was thrifty and earnest. Sometimes she found just the right thing to make my day--I have a great green-and-purple houndstooth dresscoat that came with a handmade (by my aunt) dress to match. Babci hemmed the dress a little too short for me to wear regularly, but it makes its appearance as a go-go dress, the only costume I can pull off. Other times, I'd come away with a stained sweater that I reluctantly took but never wore. Before my grandmother moved in with my aunt, she insisted I take a tablecloth that I had no use for, and no means to transport. She saved it for me, with a post-it note, taped to the black plastic bag, that read "for Tammie" in her shaky hand. I can't remember what year it was, but I threw the bag in my rental car, returned to Chicago, and put the bag in the basement.

A month ago I opened the bag to put away the tablecloth only to find that Babci had snuck in a couple other items. There were a few folds of fabric with interesting patterns and the cream of the crop, a crocheted afghan. I closed up the bag to deal with it later.

This weekend, I opened up the bag to find a beautiful, full-sized afghan in a bright and fun pattern. I'm sure it's acrylic and Babci may or may not have made it. But it's such a treasure. I can picture Babci cooking or slicing strawberries, but I can't remember seeing my grandmother doing any kind of hand work, though we always had crocheted slippers to wear, and her embroidery is recognizable because she never split the strands. Once she showed me a rag rug she was making; that was the only time there was a direct indication that she made beautiful things from fiber. I did learn some sewing from Babci, mostly mending, and she once helped me make a pink satin pillowcase for my Papa (my grandfather on my mom's side). I knew my aunt was crafty--she must have learned it from someone, probably Babci, her mother. My aunt tried to teach me many of the skills she has in abundance; most notably, my aunt gave me my first knitting lesson, when I was about nine.

There's a needle-arts lineage in my family that I'm proud to share. I'm a knitter, through and through, but lately I've been having dreams of expanding my knowledge of all things fabric and fiber. I'd like to learn to sew and to embroider, mostly to embellish my knitting. I'd also like to make a rag rug in honor of my Babci.

For now, though, I'll keep knitting. I'm halfway through Pucker; I have to sew in a lining and add a drawstring to the chalk bag; I've got more than half of a gift to finish; and I promised socks to Aimee's weaving teacher. I've got to finish those before Aimee leaves Korea. So the other fiber arts are going to remain on the wish list for now. Each thing I knit, though, is infused with the spirit of my grandmother, and the memories of learning from my aunt. Makes me love to knit even more.

I'm Done

I'm not done with blogging, but I am going to take a break from the pressure of it. Things are too full, too heavy in my heart and head right now to worry about anything else. I will blog when I feel like I have something to say, and the time to write about it.

Since I wrote last a lot has happened. A friend died. You can learn more about it at Perry's blog. Perry is writing so elegantly and eloquently about it all, in spite of his closeness to James and James's death, that I will leave it to the words he's already used. A couple days after that I had to go off to a conference, which was fun and educational, but overcast with the thought that I couldn't be with my Elko friends, mourning and supporting. The day I left Kentucky and the conference, I got a call telling me my grandma, my Nana, had died (my other grandma, Babci, died in September). I flew all the way to Salt Lake City just to turn around and fly to Detroit (I traveled a total of 20 hours that day). I was very close with my Nana, so this was especially hard to take. There was all sorts of family stuff to deal with while home, too, which only added to my worry and sadness. The day after I returned from Detroit, I drove with friends to Salt Lake City to attend James's memorial. It was beautiful and heartbreaking.

Nana and Me. Isn't she beautiful?

While I was gone, I was neglecting a major deadline at work and now I'm behind much more than I'd lilke.

So I'm taking a break from blogging. I've been knitting, but nothing's done and nothing's new, so this seems like a good time to take a break. Please continue to email me. I need a push now and then to keep in touch.

And I declare this: I'm done with Death. That's it. I'm done.

August 22, 2008. Nana and Papa were finally wed in the Catholic Church, after 50 years of marriage.

Adjusting

In order to keep track of one of the few things that I immediately liked about Elko, I have started a photo blog called Elko Sky. I'm going to try to take a photo each day around sunset for a month, excusing myself for days when I just can't get outside for one reason or another (like last night, when I was in a meeting). We'll see how it goes. If I can stick with it for a month, I'll keep it going.

On Monday I went to a knitting group. There were two people, but it was an attempt at being proactive. I need to force myself to get out and meet people. I had to go at lunch, so I didn't stay long. It was nice to have a place to go knit in the middle of the day.

Over the weekend I made some slippers for myself. I used some left over 1824 Cotton from other slippers I made. This pattern was fast. It took about three hours to complete one, sewing on the button and all. Were I to make this again, I'd increase less before the ribbing. The slippers are just a little too big. They are comfy, though.


I am working on the baby blanket still, and I ordered the Flair kit from Kpixie. I'm headed to North Carolina on Sunday. My brother returns from Iraq next week, so I'm excited to be there greet him. All my projects are big, though, so I might have to start a hat or some socks. I'll see what's in the stash. I'll take too much, no matter what.

This Makes it All Worthwhile

Doesn't Jen look like she stepped off the page of the pattern book?

Looking at it, I can't believe I made it. It's Gathering Intentions from Inspired Cable Knits. When I saw the sweater, it just screamed out to be made for Jen. I finished it at her house, after she'd gone to bed so it would remain secret. It fits beautifully and really does suit Jen. The yarn is Valley Yarns Valley Superwash. I like it. It was really sproingy, which I love in a yarn. Plus, it's washable, which is perfect for a mom. Because Jen is a mom, I left off the gathered I-cord part of the right sleeve. I didn't think dangling ties were practical. She'd dip them in a lot of things and they'd get pulled on. I did leave the gathered part on the front, because I liked how it made the design unique.

Also while at Jen's I made Center Square. My floats were a tiny bit close together and they stretch on a big head like mine, making it feel tight. A person with a smaller head will be fine. I don't have an intended recipient, so I'll keep my eye out for someone with a smaller head. I showed the hat to my brother, who immediately wanted it. Then he said "but it won't match my scarf." So now I'm making another out of black and grey RYC Cashsoft. The lengths I go to for family. Let me just say how much I love this yarn, by the way. So soft.

Campfire Stories

For the last time this summer, I'm headed to the UP. This is my annual UP trip. I'm delighted to be able to do this so easily this year, and to have been in the UP so much this summer. I'm looking forward to spending my birthday with people I love, in the woods.

I've been thinking a lot about my parents. My mom seems to be watching over my shoulder all the time these days, and I'm dreaming of her often. I've had to make some hard decisions lately, ones that require moving across country, to Nevada, and selling my condo. It's all been a little easier when I think about the support that my parents always gave during times like these. I'll be celebrating and thanking them on my birthday, in the woods.

Every summer our family vacation was spent camping in the UP. We had a favorite campground that had a lot of trees and dunes and was right on Lake Michigan. On the drive up we would watch for hawks and eagles, and my dad was always so quick to spot them, leaning over the steering wheel, looking up instead of at the road. We'd always stop and eat at the Pizza Hut in St. Ignace, and then we'd swim where the highway runs along the lake. At some point in the trip we'd head up to Seney, to see more birds. I can remember exploring the woods and dunes with my sister, eating steak and onions (pre-vegetarian days, obviously) that my dad had made over the fire, and swimming longer than my sister because she always got cold. Just so I could stay in, my mom would stay in the water, floating on a tube, reading. The waves always seemed so big.

After my parents died, we siblings talked a lot about where this campground was. None of us could remember exactly where it was, though Stefan was almost right (there, I said it). It was special to all of us, mostly because my parents took us there, but also because it's a special place.

On my trip in July, Dan was kind enough to explore the various beaches along route 2 on our way to the Lower Peninsula. We explored a few that just weren't right. I remembered what the road into the campground looked like, I remembered what the campsites were like (even though it was car camping, there was a lot of privacy because of the trees and dunes), and I remembered the beach exactly. I was sure we'd missed it, that we were too close to the bridge, but Dan suggested we try one last spot. I cried the moment we pulled in to the park. My heart just knew it was the place we'd lost.


This is the beach where we used to go as a family.

But It's a Dry Heat

Yes, it's hot in Chicago. But it was even hotter in southwest Utah. My sister and I went to Zion National Park on Friday. We were headed to Emerald Pools and I didn't think I would make it--it was hot and sunny! Once we did get there, I was totally rejuvenated by the water. It was worth it. On the way down, we passed a woman who asked us how much farther it was up to the water. Boy, did I empathize.

Visiting my sister was great fun. I got to hang out with her at work--she's more competent than she admits--where I walked dogs and played with dogs and pet dogs. Good stuff.

Just before leaving, I started a skirt for Renée (who else?) and a pair of socks for Dan (who else?). I finished one sock just before I left, and I finished the skirt in Utah. I'll probably finish the second sock tonight.

The socks are a simple, toe-up pattern, using the Turkish cast on for the toe, and short rows for the heel. The cuff is "small herringbone rib" from Stitchionary. It looks the same as a twisted stitch, which would have been faster, I think, but I like the look. I'm using the Claudia Hand Painted Yarns I got on my visit to California in March. It's a nice yarn. I wish it had just a little more yardage.

The skirt pattern I made up as I went. It's in Bamboo from Be Sweet. It's a splitty yarn, but it is so soft and drapey, that I can overlook the splits. I started with the waistband, knit a few rows, threw in some yarn overs, knit some more, then more yarn overs, then garter (in the round), then repeated until the end, where I increased for the ruffle, which is in garter. It's a lovely skirt. Like everything I've made for Renée lately, it will probably be too big right now. Oh well. She'll grow.

I leave for the UP again on Friday, so I may not post for a while. I'll be there about ten days, then an overnight in Saginaw visiting Jen and family, then back to Chicago. I may not post until the very end of July, when I'll have more pictures of the UP and hopefully some knitting progress.

Even in My Dreams

Last night I dreamed that I was in a school when a fire alarm sounded. Before leaving the building, I grabbed my knitting (two circulars and a ball of yarn I was swatching, plus skeins in a different color) from my knitting bowl (which was, of course, on a table in the school's lobby). Someone asked why I was taking so much. I explained that I was swatching, but that I was really going to use the other yarn for the project.

Shows what's important, I guess.

Stef's socks are finished. They seem so big. I hope his feet really are this big. My math was off a little, so there's only a smidgen of negative ease in the foot (less than half an inch), so they will be loose, I'm sure. Maybe his feet will grow by the time it's cold enough to wear wool socks.

I did like using the Ultramerino 4 very much. Those Artyarns yarns are good and squishy, which is my favorite quality in a yarn.

Crumpets is done. Or, almost done. I have to get a pretty ribbon and maybe make some straps. This took way too long to make. Miles and miles of stockinette will start to make me crazy, even though I do love the way stockinette looks.


I have a bad habit of making something just because. In this case, I was shopping at a store in Muscatine, Iowa last weekend. I bought a couple balls of 1824 Cotton (there wasn't much else that caught my eye, though I think they had every color of Cascade 220 available) and they had this pattern posted as a suggestion. So when I finished Crumpets and felt like I needed a quick knit, I turned to this. It was fun. I have no recipient intended, and it's a bit too small for my feet. If any of my family or friends wears an 8 or smaller and would like a pair of cotton slippers, let me know and they are yours.

I like the 1824 Cotton. I didn't think I'd like the nubby-ness of it, because I am not crazy about the Manos Cotton Stria. I like the texture this made. I think I'd even like a sweater out of it.

This I knit in a hotel room in Urbana, Illinois. I was there for work and needed something to distract me from a crazy headache I had. The food they have at conferences isn't really conducive to paying attention in sessions full of slides and powerpoint. That's my complaint of the day. I'm not showing the whole thing, which only took a few hours and is made from Print 127 from the stash. It's for DG for our upcoming road trip. I'll be sure to get a picture of it in action.

Now I am trying to think of something special for Renée. Yeah, I know, I made Crumpets for her, but I think it will be too big. I'm thinking something more along the keepsake line than fun wearable. I don't do lace, and I don't really have time for lace anyway. Renée's christening is the second weekend in June, so I'd like to have it done before I head to Michigan. Any ideas?

In the meantime, I'm finally starting socks for Stefan from the Artyarns Ultramerino 4 that I got last fall. So, I'm a procrastinator. Oh, that must be why I make slippers for no reason.

Unneccesary Worry

Jack loves the disaster of the messenger bag. What is it with cats and knitted things? Maybe he's hinting that he wants a cat bed of his own. This may be as close as he gets, so he'd better enjoy it.

Holidays

I don't know why there are people who hate the holidays. My family is so fun. We have a traditional Polish Christmas Eve, Wigilia, and also get together on Christmas Day. My family eats, laughs, opens gifts (like the ornaments I made, see above), and enjoys each other's company. This year I played outside with my little cousins, it was so warm. Andrew called from Iraq, too, so that was a special bonus. Even though I only live a short five-hour drive away from the family, I only see them a few times a year (they really need to visit more).
I know people complain about the consumerism, the greediness, and so on, but in families like mine, that's all put aside for spending time together. I like gifts, of course, and I got some great ones this year (three knitting related books, even), but there's nothing like the holidays to bring out the love in my family.Here's a picture of Stefan in his scarf, which he wore non-stop. He was bugging me to open the gift the minute I walked in. I forget what a good receiver he is. He carries around an afghan I made for him like it's his blankie. I plan on making him socks with the other Artyarns I bought for him.

I made a hat for my sister, too. In fact, I meant to post last night but I was enjoying the hat so much, I stayed up finishing it. I based the pattern on Fetching, which I used for her birthday present (and forgot to photograph). The yarn is the same, too: RYC Cashcotton DK. I love this hat. I was worried that the crown would look funny because of the rapid decreasing, but it turned out perfectly. I may make a version for myself.